My journey to Now...

People often ask me how I came to be where I am now, wherever that may be. < smile > The simple answer is that I have learned how to take the apparent lemons in life and turn them into delicious lemonade. I've learned that there are no mistakes in life, only opportunities for growth.

There are some spiritual paths, I have heard, that involve what might be called "initiations". These "tests" are believed to create character and bring the disciple closer to enlightenment. These "Rites of Passage" are deliberately painful and taxing to the body, mind and soul.

They are intentional and do produce powerful results.

I have come to understand my childhood in these terms. In all my years of working as a therapist, I came across very few clients with a childhood history as filled with terror as mine has been.

I know the meaning of severe depression, unbelievable trauma, torture and even death. During my years of depression I would cry and ask God, "What is this all about?" The answer became clear. "You will have answers for people on so many levels, because you will have been there." I am happy to say, I have been through the tunnel and out the other side and I know the way, in fact I now know some really great short cuts!

At times as a child, my inner world, known to some as imagination but to me quite real, is what kept me alive. I would experience Jesus holding my hand as I showed him all of the houses I had lived in. By the time I had showed him all of them, the particular torture or abuse would seem far away. I also learned to see with my internal eyes because my physical eyes couldn't see. I needed to know where my father was, he was dangerous. I had to keep up with him so he wouldn't sneak up on me. I never imagined how powerful these lessons were at the time. They were survival techniques. Now these skills have become powerful healing allays for my clients.

Finally, I grew up and left home. I married way too young and for all the wrong reasons. I was incredibly depressed and wanted to be dead more times than I wanted to live. I thought having kids would make me feel loved. I had four beautiful kids. Their presence triggered my own childhood abuse, and I had no way to know how to love them or nurture them. I was determined to break the pattern of abuse. I went into therapy and into college to become a therapist all at the same time. I would often laugh to myself as I wondered if I would ever be healthy enough to offer healing to others.

The day finally came when I finished school and therapy all about the same time. I went to work for an agency and had a private practice on the side. I knew I was good at my work. I knew I was healthier than many therapists even then. I knew I felt frustrated at how long the process took, not only with my own healing, but the healing of my clients.

In the meantime I had outgrown the father of my kids, we divorced. I continued to grow and heal myself. I learned more and more about spirituality and dared to wonder about such things as angels, guides, Tarot cards, meditation and the like. I had evolved in my spiritual growth from the fundamental Christian church I had grown up in, to the spirit filled churches, then to eastern religions and on into the New Age movement. As I grew in all these areas I began to understand that the line between therapy and spirituality was almost invisible, except that the mental health profession didn't agree with me.

I had worked many years to become a licensed therapist. Now, it seemed more of a curse than a gift. The licensing board and many other therapists were so strict on even discussing spiritual issues with clients that I felt stiffed and blocked. I finally let my hard-earned licenses fall away. If I had learned nothing else along my path I knew that if I ignored my heart, I would be miserable.

Then I met the love of my life, Forrist. This was no accidental meeting! I manifested this man. I was determined to find someone who knew how to grow and how to allow me to grow. I would settle for nothing less. We knew within only a few days of talking on the phone that we were meant to be with each other.

We met through the Internet, and he soon bought a plane ticket for me to visit him 1500 miles from my home.

We have been together ever since.

We had much to catch up on with each other, things we had learned we quickly taught each other. Then we met Vianna and attended her DNA workshop and Theta Healing certification trainings. Since then, we feel like we have been on a rocket ship! I now have more answers to help my clients. I can work over the phone, so I'm not limited to only those who can be with me in person. We are an amazing team: he is a researcher of bio-energy science and spirituality and a builder of companies, and my talents are found with people and energies. We are both on our path and our paths have integrated into a prism of adventure.

Light and Love,

Marlana